Secret Contents of a Certain Government Warehouse
Version 0.1

Compiled by Stirling Westrup
At stirling@ozrout.uucp

This file attempts to catalog and describe the contents of a particular secret government warehouse. In the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", this warehouse was the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant. Likewise, the first episode of the "War of the Worlds" TV series shows that the Martian war machines from the first invasion attempt were also stored in this warehouse.

This file is in its preliminary stages still. The first dozen or so entries have been done in more or less the format that I would eventually like the whole list to follow. I haven't had time to do more than a first pass over the rest of the list, but folks are clamoring for a progress report, so I figured I'ld post what I've accomplished so far. Anyone who wants to help out by sending details, corrections or new entries should see the section on editorial policy, to make this compiler's life a bit easier.


The world is actually being run by a coalition of secret societies and cabals, known (to a few) as the Global Conspiracy. This group long ago decided that certain knowledges and materials are too disruptive to be allowed to fall into subversive hands. These materials were also considered to be too potentially useful to be destroyed. Instead, a secret warehouse was established in which to store these dangerous items and a covert task force, known as the Collection Agency, was formed to oversee their procurement and storage. This task force has grown increasingly more conservative over the years, and as a result, many items have been stored away on the pretext that it is better to be safe than sorry. If the Collection Agency determines that you have an object that would be better off in more responsible hands, then you would be well advised to simply give it up. Remember, they have the full resources of the warehouse to back them up, should they become desperate.

The Warehouse

The Warehouse is a huge structure, divided into three major areas. Each area is used to hold items which present different storage problems. The first area is for items which require no special treatment, the second area is for items that need to be kept cold in order to be properly preserved, and the third area is for items which require a constant power supply. A crude ASCII map should give the right idea:
|                                                     #                      |
| Area 'A' - Main Storage                             ! Area 'B'             |
|                                                     ! Refrigerated Storage |
|                                                     !                      |
| Assume a uniform ceiling height of 20m (60 ft)      !                      |
|                                                     !                      |
| Scale: 1 square = ~3m (10 ft)                       !                      |
|                                                     !                      |
| Legend:                                             !                      |
|   + Wall Intersection                               #                      |
|   - Horizontal, solid wall (armored)                +----------------------+
|   | Vertical, solid wall (armored)                  | Power Generators     |
|   O External security door (armored)                | and Refrigerators    |
|   = Huge external cargo door (armored)              +----------------------+
|   ! Mobile internal wall panel                      #                      |
|   # Human-sized door in a mobile wall panel         ! Area 'C'             |
|                                                     ! Powered Storage      |
|                                                     !                      |
|                                                     !                      |
|                                                     !                      |
|                                                     #                      |
Area 'A', the first area is, by far, the largest. It is maintained at a constant temperature of 15 C (60 F) and a constant humidity of 10%.

Area 'B' is an enormous refrigerator. It is separated from the Area 'A' by a wall of insulated panels. The panels are mounted in tracks on the floor and ceiling, and are hinged where they join. They can be folded away so as to form a large opening for cargo to be moved in or out. There is a motor provided for this purpose, with controls on the only section of the right hand wall of Area 'A' that is not mobile. At each end of the refrigerator is a normal sized door to allow folks in or out without having to move the walls. The interior of the refrigerator is kept at a frigid -60 C (-76 F) at all times.

Area 'C' is just slightly smaller than Area 'B'. It contains all of the items which require some form of active environmental protection. This includes all machinery which the collection agency could not (or dared not) turn off. This section also houses all of the equipment that is regularly used by the warehouse, or its staff. Like Area 'B', this area also has mobile walls, and a motor to move them.


Any item in Area 'A' of the warehouse that is smaller than about 3m (10 feet) on a side is sealed in a wooden crate. There are several huge crates in the area but most of the larger items are either laying exposed on pallets, or are covered by tarpaulins. No crate is smaller than 60 cm (2 feet) on a side, regardless of the size of the contents. All crates are strongly reinforced, since they are stacked 20 deep in places.

All of the items in the refrigerated section are sealed in crates to avoid ice evaporation. This is a storage regulation, so even articles which contain no ice, but need to be stored cold, will be in crates.

There are far fewer items in section 'C', than in the other sections. Since the items in this section require some sort of constant upkeep, none of them are stored in crates. Instead, each item has a custom metal cabinet that folds aside to reveal the contents. All of the cabinets are locked, and only the custodian has the keys. (The cabinets would not be particularly difficult to break into). A few of the truely large items in this area are not fully enclosed, but merely have a cabinet built around their control sections.


Most crates and cabinets in the warehouse bare no markings other than a standard identification code. A few containers have warnings about fragile contents, or which end must be placed up. Workers in this warehouse have been thoroughly impressed by the dangers of ignoring these warnings. As a consequence, all warnings, no matter how strange, are rigidly followed.

The identification codes that are used is a varient on the standard US military scheme. Each code is in the form:


where XXX is a three letter code, NNNN is a item number within that three-letter code grouping, and PP is an optional part number for items which have been disassembled and stored in several crates. Most crates have a four digit item number, since less than 10,000 items were expected to be found in any one category. In the cases where this has proved false, extra digits have been added.

The three letter codes are interpreted as follows:

First letter - Purpose

A   Analysis        Object analyzes or describes other objects
B   Battle          Object is intended to be used in battle
C   Control         Object extends users control to other objects
D   Data            Object contains or is a large collection of information
E   Evidence        Object is evidence supporting a theory or claim
F   Specimen        Object is to be subjected to further investigation later
G   Generation      Object produces matter or energy 
H   Repair          Object maintains or repairs other objects
I   Invocation      Object helps secure a supernatural being's favor or blessing
J   Enjoyment       Object is designed to bring pleasure or entertain.
K   Transformation  Object converts one thing into another
L   Logic           Object performs calculations or computations.
M   Model           Object is a (possibly working) scale model of something
N   Nourishment     Object is intended to provide food
O   Observation     Object gathers information via some sensing method
P   Propulsion      Object is intended to move objects it is attached to
Q   Duplication     Object is intended to replicate other objects
R   Regulation      Object governs the actions of another object
S   Summoning       Object produces the physical form of a supernatural being
T   Transportation  Object moves material, while remaining stationary
U   Universal       Object is capable of an enormous range of operations
V   Vehicle         Object's main purpose is transportation of people or cargo
W   Misc            Any purpose not covered elsewhere.
X   Unknown         No known purpose for this object
Y   Not applicable  Concept of purpose is not compatible with this object
Z   Reflexive       Object provides purpose

Second letter - Principal of Operation

A   Atomic          Works by harnessing nuclear forces 
B   Biological      Object is biological, or has biological components 
C   Complex Machine Uses electronic, electric and mechanical principles 
D   Divine          works due to intersession of a supernatural force or god
E   Electromagnetic Works due to electromagnetic principals
F   Flow            Works by controlling flow of a substance 
G   Gravitic        Works by harnessing Gravitational forces 
H   Modifies Laws   Works by modifying physical laws 
I   Inert           Object is an inert substance with interesting properties 
J   Chemical        Object works by chemical reactions 
K   Kinetic         Works through manipulation of kinetic energy 
L   Logic Flaw      Object works despite the fact that it clearly cannot
M   Magical         Object uses mystical forces 
N   Nanotechnology  Object is constructed of billions of tiny robots 
O   Physical Law    Works by obeying simple laws of physics (eg. boats float) 
P   Psychic         Operates using mental energy 
Q   Quantum         Works at a sub-atomic level 
R   Recursive       Object works due to effects caused by its operation 
S   Simple Machine  Works via cogs, levers, pulleys, springs, etc. 
T   Temporal        Object manipulates time 
U   Solid State     Object is a solid-state electronic device 
V   Environmental   Object interacts with its environment in unique ways 
W   Misc            Any operating principal not covered elsewhere 
X   Unknown         No known pricipal of operation 
Y   Not applicable  Principal of operation is not an object-compatible concept 
Z   Reflexive       Object is acted upon, it does not act itself

Third letter - Method of Use

A   Autonomous      Object is self activated and self controlled
B   Bi-state        Object is either OFF or ON, it has no other controls
C   Consumed        Object must be consumed or injected to have effect
D   Directed        Object accepts commands and attempts to carry them out
E   Extension       Object behaves as an extension of the users body
H   Hand operated   Object's control surface is manipulated by hand
I   Installed       Object must be installed or inserted in other equipment
L   Logic Program   Object must be carefully programmed before use
M   Material        Object is a raw material in some process
P   Piloted         Object requires continuous operation of controls to function
R   Ritualistic     Object is operated by ritual gestures, words or activities
T   Telepathic      Object obeys thoughts or desires of user
U   Uncontrolled    Object is in continuous operation, and cannot be turned off
W   Misc            Methods of use not covered elsewhere
X   Unknown         No method of use is known for this object
Y   Not applicable  Method of Use is not a concept compatible with this object
Z   Reflexive       Object controls user

Entry Format

The idividual entries that follow are all in the same form:


    XXX-NNNN-PP is the identification code
    AAA         is the storage area, one of: 'A', 'B' or 'C'
    CCCCC       is the container type, one of: Crate, Tarp, Pallet or Cabinet
    SSS         is the size in centimeters (length, then width, then height)
    WWWWWWWWWW  is any warning text that may be on the container
    TTTTTTTTTT  is detailed explanatory text on the object
Eventually, all measurements will be in both metric and imperial. Bare with me.

Warehouse Contents

IDR-5626        Area 'A'    Crate 150x200x150
Ark of the Covenant
Called the "Aron Haberit" in Hebrew, this ornate, gold-plated wooden chest was built to hold the two tablets given to Moses by God. The Ark was only ever opened by the High Priest of the Temple during Yom Kippur. The Isrealites occasionaly took the Ark into battle with them to insure the favor of God. As shown in the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", anyone opening the Ark would release Angelic beings so beautiful that those looking upon them would die. Presumably there are other uses for the Ark. [[ I know nothing about Jewish culture, or Christian theology, so the above was taken from memories of the movie, and my Encyclopedia. ]] RFI-0076 Area 'A' Crate 60x60x60 100 MPG Carburetor
This automobile carburetor makes use of venturi vortex phenomena in order to provide a gas/fuel mixture which is much leaner than provided by an ordinary carburetor, but which, nevertheless, burns just as well. This leads to greatly increased gas mileage, as much as a 350% improvement in many cases. This item has been long suppressed, since the fuel shortage is a major method used to control the world populace. [[ I've heard of this gadget hundreds of times. Does anyone have a more 'authoritative' description, than my memory? ]] BCP-0109 Area 'A' Pallet 600x600x400 Martian War Machines
(3) After the failed Martian invasion at [[was it Sutters Mill??]] in [[???]] as described by Orson Wells in his classic broadcasts, several of the Martian war machines were recovered and placed in the warehouse. A successful coverup campaign managed to convince most of the world that the broadcasts had been a hoax, or a radio play. FBY-0003 Area 'B' Crate 250x200x75 Dead Martians
(3) Each of the Martian War Machines (see PCB-0107) had a crew of [[2??]] and after the crew had succumbed to Earthly diseases, the bodies were collected for examination. Three bodies were preserved for future research. VXP-0015-?? Area 'A' Parts of a cut up UFO from "My Science Project"
TTL-0002 Area 'A' Smashed pieces of the time gizmo from "The Philedelphia Experiment"
GAI-0001 Engine that runs on tap water
G[CSEL][BU]- Area 'A' A whole bunch of perpetual motion dohickeys
. [[ Most of these gizmos will be in Area 'A', but a few (any of type GR_ for instance) will be in Area 'C' since they cannot be shut off without breaking them. If anyone can send me a list of different PM attempts, and/or some references then I could fill this section in more fully. ]] DZH-0001 Conspiracy theory books that were too close to the truth.
QBA-0623 Area 'A' Full body cloning machine
This consists of two man-sized glass tubes connected by a large amount of piping, tubing and machinery. There are no visible controls. The machine has a self-contained power supply (cold fusion). The right-hand tube has a door-latch on it, while the left-hand tube does not. If someone steps into the first tube, and the door is closed, then a clone will rapidly grow in the second tube. In less than an hour, a the clone tube will open, and an exact copy of the original will step out. The clone will have the clothing, manerisms, scars and memories of the original. It will be very difficult to tell them apart. (Note that this is clearly a movie-tradition cloning machine, rather than something with a bit more sound science behind it.) RTB-0007 Area 'C' A rack of 16 stasis booths
This is a large bank of man-sized glass tubes. It requires continuous energy to operate. If its power is ever removed, then all of the folks in the booths will wake up. Nine of the twelve tubes already have occupants. Each occupant has a code number. The codes and occupants are: UBA-0002 Al Capone UBA-0003 J. F. Kennedy UBA-0005 Hitler UBA-0006 Elvis UBA-0007 Hitler UBA-0009 Elvis UBA-0010 Elvis UBA-0017 Jimmy Hoffa EIY-0098 Fragments of metal from Amelia Earhart's plane and a lab report.
The lab report indicates that the metal fragments were from the wing tips of Amelia Earhart's plane, and were found on a desert island. Analysis shows the pieces were subjected to great amounts of stress along a single axis. Residual traces of unusual energy patterns were also found. The report concludes that Amelia's plane was either caught in the tractor beam of a flying saucer, or fell through a dimensional rift. DZH-9615 A package of detailed plans for controlling the world by manipulating the world food and energy shortages
GBA-0614 Experimental seeds for a plant that grows rapidly in salt water and produces highly nutritional tubers, that could solve the worlds food problems.
BCP-0204 BCP-0205 2 Prototypes of the Avro Arrow Fighter plane.
VXP-0009 The UFO from Hanger 3 of Wright-Patterson AFB.
FBY-1006 Area 'B' A caveman, as in the movie "Iceman"
FBY-1007 Area 'B' A Mamoth, in a block of ice.
It was eating buttercups at the time it froze. FBY-1008 Area 'B' A hideous alien frozen in ice.
This is "The Thing" from the story by John Carpenter, and the movie of the same name. FBY-1009 A giant Insect from some monster movie.
FBY-1010 Area 'C' The Blob
A great crystalline glop, clear red in color, about the size of a house. It is stored in a plexiglass case (inside the crate). From the movie "The Blob" PJH-1602 The Cirrus X-3 jetpack, fireproof suit and helmet
This was built by the Government according to a set of plans they managed to aquire. This jetpack and suit are identical to those shown in the movie "Rocketeer". The jetpack burns pure alcohol, and holds about 2l, enough for 1 hour of flight. [[ Size of fuel compartment, and flight times are just off the top of my head. Anyone have any better numbers? ]] FBY-1010 Area 'C' A number of clear cylinders full of bubbling liquid,
and parts of people and aliens. One container contains Hitler's brain. Another holds a creature from the movie "Aliens", in the 'hand' shape. NIC-0007 An artificial sweetner that tastes exactly like sugar, has no side effects,and no calories. EBY-0602 A fosilized Dinosaur bone with a bullet imbeded in it.
EXY-0107 A set of moon rocks that beep when exposed to moonlight
(from an episode of "Green Acres"). GJI-0010 Cheap batteries that can put out full power for 25 years.
GAH-0078 A cold fusion electrical generator.
GAH-0079 A machine that eats nuclear waste, gives off power, and produces inert materials. HBC-0011 A Cure for the common cold. FBY-0901 A diorama contrasting the bodies of a Yeti and a Bigfoot.
Both bodies are stuffed and mounted in 'lifelike' poses. FBY-0002 The skeleton of a Merman.
FBY-0009 The skeleton of the missing link.
IDA-0034 The Holy Grail
BMH-0016 Excalibur
FBY-0012 The Loch Ness Monster
(stuffed) VIP-0106 Noah's Ark
BMH-0018 The Spear of Destiny
This is suposedly the spear (wielded by Casca :-) ) that was shoved into the side of Jesus while he was on the cross. There are also rumors that it may have once belonged to Odin. _M_
Wagner's Ring HMC-0002 Water from the Fountain of Youth
WKH-0002 Paul Bunyan's Axe
DZH-0022 The Necronomicon by Abd ul'hazred
DZH-0096 Plans for an ftl drive
MQI-0023 A model of an ftl drive
(plastic cut-away). MHI-0016 A working model of an ftl drive.
Will have to be scaled up in order to move anything more massive than about 20 kg. PQI-0009 Prototype FTL drive
built from the plans labeled DZH-0023 PHI-0010 A prototype Warp drive.
RWD-0034 Rover, the security ball from the "Prisoner" TV show.
Rover is a 2m diameter, translucent white balloon, that roars, and can roll and bounce faster than a man. It attacks by englobing and suffocating its victim. It can either render someone unconcious and carry them, or kill them outright. It has a rudimentary brain, since it can understand some simple orders. CHP-0055 Area 'C' Dimensional transmogrifier
This unit is regularly used by the warehouse maintenance staff. It manipulates the physical space of the warehouse, so that it may appear in a variety of locations, of different sizes. One week warehouse's entrance will be underneath the Statue of Liberty, the next it will be in the middle of the Arizona Desert. DZI-0016 Secret Kennedy Kidnapping Film
A film reel of the JFK 'assasination' taken from close by, and in front of, the main procession. The film clearly shows Kennedy being shot from the front, but with a strange dart. It also reveals that bodies were switched within a second of JFK collapsing. The film case is marked with a CIA file number, and the words TOP SECRET. DZH-0017 Collected JFK evidence from the National Archives.
All testimonies, photographs and lab reports which lent doubt to the official story of the JFK assasination were collected and stored here. DZI-0019 Intact Copies of the Watergate Tapes
DZH-0019 Documents on the Iran/Contra connection
DZH-0020 Documents on the October Surprise conspiracy
DZH-0021 Documents on the BCCI, S&L and contra connection
DZH-0096 CIA reports on their drug running operations
DZH-0015 The CIA after-action report on its successful kidnapping of JFK
DZH-0023 The CIA after-action report and full laboratory procedure book on the creation of the AIDS virus in government labs, including the procedure for creating a cure/vaccine DZH-0003 Text of simple geometric procedure for trisecting any angle
DZH-0002 The manuscript of Fermat's Last Theorem
EIY-0008 D. B. Cooper paraphenalia
Includes an empty money bag, a parachute, and a high-quality latex mask of D. B. Cooper's features. D. B. Cooper was the first person to try highjacking a plane for money. (His actual name is unknown; the name he gave when buying the plane ticket was "D. B. Cooper".) It was back around 1970; he got into the cockpit with a gun and demanded $250,000 and a parachute. He got the money and chute at Seattle, and somewhere between Seattle and Portland, Oregon he went out the emergency escape in the tail of the plane. He has not been seen since. Some of his money was found back in the mid-80's in a bag by a lake in the forests of southern Washington, and so many folks think it likely that he did not survive his jump (the 727 was flying rather high and fast for the kind of jumping he would have had to try), but D. B. himself, and over half the money, is still missing. I recall that there was a bar here in Seattle in the late 70's, I think, that took Cooper's name and made him into something of a cult hero, holding a big bash the night the statute of limitations ran out on the sky-jacking charge (Cooper was the first, so the harsh laws on sky-jacking had not yet been enacted), and offering something if D. B. actually showed up. If he did, he came incognito. EIY-0012 The Czar's missing crown jewels
JZH-0003 The Killer Joke
Copies of the World's Funniest Joke from the Monty Python Skit. There is an English, and a German version. Both versions are sealed in envelopes, with the warning not to open an envelope if you speak the language of the version inside. The joke is so funny that anyone reading or hearing the joke will die laughing within 5 minutes. Even a few words of the joke can prove debilitating. BCP-0037 A supersonic intercontinental jet bomber developed by the Nazis
Luckily this bomber was captured long before it could ever be used. DZH-0034 Expedition reports from the Hollow Earth
Photographs, journals and other report materials from an expedition to the inside of the Earth via the hole at the North Pole. DZH-0029 Santa Claus's security clearance application materials
Santa was only granted a low-level security clearance due to clear communist tendencies, evidenced by his giving away of toys. DZH-0012 The Last Order of Lenin
The Last Order of Lenin was a deathbed statement by Lenin, which was supposedly an order that Stalin was to be purged, or prevented by the Party from ever reaching power. At least this was the story cultivated by Stalin's enemies and picked up outside the USSR to vilify him more as a renegade. Stalin's people suppressed the order, if it ever existed, and officially, I have heard, the Last Order was a typically Leninesque harangue for the Party, etc., and unofficially (but the approved unofficial version) a secret plan of his to further the spread of Communism throughout the world. The last order, however, was far more sinister than most suppose... IDY-0009 The True Cross
DZH-0098 An English-Dolphin translator's dictionary
LUP-0016 Plans and Prototype Supercomputer
Using room temperature superconductors, this little baby packs the power of several Cray XMP's into what appears to be a coke can. The can has a spot at one end for two AA cells to be inserted. The other end of the cylinder is an area of what appears to be metallic putty, or perhaps viscous mercury. This is, in fact, a universal I/O port. Any data cable can be pushed down into the malleable surface, and the computer will figure out whats on the other end, and how to talk to it. Dispite its malleability, the putty cannot be removed from the end of the can, without exerting enough force to break the computer. BMH-0009 Stormbringer
BQH-0002 The Phaser that got left behind in "City on the edge of Forever"
ECI-0023 A mangled T800 arm (Terminator 2).
This is the arm of the T800 robot that was played by Arnold Swarzenegger in the movie "Terminator 2" UBD-0045 The Monkey's Paw
(from "The Monkey's Paw") VXP-0008 The UFO that purportedly crashed in the early '50s in New Mexico
EIY-0017 What's left of Flight 19
EIY-0023 Lump of coal with a spark plug in it.
EIY-0049 Piece of sandstone with a trilobite overlaying a human footprint.
UMM-0001 The Philosopher's Stone
KAP-0002 Papa Schimmelhorn's lead-into-gold machine
The machine was never calibrated. It is currently set to turn all gold in a 3 km radius into lead. It would take a fair amount of work to calibrate it properly. GAH-0034 A small nuclear (hot) fusion generator
BAH-0011 A prototype of the Ghostbuster's proton packs.
ENA-0001 A rough ingot of steel
This is the steel that the T1000 fell into. It contains a few isolated pockets of nanomachines that had managed to build insulating barriers. The n-agent clusters are probably too small to show any collective intelligence... FBA-0002 A sample of Xenovirus Takis-A
This is the Wild Card virus which was dumped over New York City in 194?. CVH-0034 A Cloudbuster
This is the rainmaking machine shown in the Kate Bush video "Cloudbusting", which was based on the publications of Wilhelm Reich O_H-0501 An N-ray detector
DZH-0001 The Octavo
This is the Creator's spell book. It contains the Eight spells that he used to create the entire universe. PMU-0007 A jewlry case containing 3 Green Rings and 3 Yellow Rings
These are the transport rings that are used to reach the Woods between the Worlds. The Woods is an interdimensional nexus full of shallow pools. If someone steps into a pool while wearing a green ring, they will be transported to the universe that corresponds to that pool. If they touch a yellow ring while in any normal universe, them and the yellow ring end up in the Woods. Descriptions of the rings and how they work can be found in "The Magicians Nephew", by C. S. Lewis. IDR-0023 A Pair of Huge Ivory Tusks
These are the tusks of Malima Temboz, The Mountain That Walks, the largest elephant tusks ever collected. The left tusk weighs 226 pounds, and the right weighs 214 pounds. Both tusks are in excess of 3m. (All of this data is real. The tusks are currently supposed to be stored in the British Museum of Natural History). According to the book "Ivory" by Mike Resnick, the two tusks are sacred to the Masaai, and their race is cursed to dwindle and die until they have performed a blood sacrifice of an uncircumcised Masaai youth on the Ivory. LUA-0023 A sentient computer in the shape of a book.
This is from the book "Roadmarks" by Roger Zelazny. The book is the twin to "Leaves of Grass", but I can't remember its name. IDR-0100 The first Deryni Altar
The categorization of this artifact is difficult, since Deryni magic partakes of both the Divine and the Psychic. This Altar is a huge cube that appears to be made up of 8 smaller cubes, 4 black and 4 white. The cubes are arranged in an alternating checkerboard, so that each cube of one color has an opposite color cube touching each of 3 faces. TJH-0002 The Preserving Machine
This machine is designed to input important data (such as digitized pictures of masterpiece paintings, the text for Shakespeare's plays and so forth) and encode the information into DNA sequences. It then produces a living animal that carries the information in its genes. If one of these animals is fed into the machine before enough generations have gone by for evolution to have changed the codes, then the original data can be retrieved. FBY- Area 'C' Frozen Dinosaur Eggs, with documentation
The documents encased with the egg are the reports of an expedition to Africa in 1982. There are pictures of what appear to be dwarf diplodocus' and a mention that the eggs were stolen from a nest. EIY- A chunk of metal, of an unknown alloy
Papers with it indicate that it is mildly radioactive, and that it was discovered in 1911 during an expedition to investigate the Tunguska blast. UCD- A Series of eight bodies on stone benches
, under a tarpaulin The benches hold deactivated robots. The faces of some of the robots are familiar, and some are not. The slabs are labeled (from right to left) Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan I, Ronald Reagan II, George Bush, ______, John Barrens, Simon McAuly. The robot on the Ronald Reagan I slab has clearly stopped working due to a number of bullet wounds to the head and chest. The George Bush and ______ robots are missing. RTF- A cryogenic suspension chamber holding Walt Disney
DKI An old fashined long-playing record
According to the blurb on the dust jacket, it contains recordings of, among other things, Beethoven's Eleventh Symphony, and all of the Unfinished Symphony VTH A phone booth with an odd antenna on top, and a San Dimas, CA number
XXX A blue British police call box, locked
The Government folks have no idea what this thing is supposed to be, but it has proved invulnerable to all attempts to open it. It has been in the warehouse for at least 20 years. WIE A tight-fitting blue costume with a big red "S" on the chest.
The costume appears to be non-porous, elastic, and completely invulnerable to all attempts to take a sample for analysis. DEI The backup tape archives from the "Terminator 2" lab
MCH The "dean drive" which "converts angular momentum into linear momentum."
UHP The Infinite Improbability Generator
LUA HAL 9000 prototype
LUA-0001 Deep Thought
Deep Thought was installed on Earth to monitor the progress of his greatest creation... GQI A Dark Bulb
This is a 100W Dark Bulb. When inserted into a normal light socket, it will reduce the room illumination by the amount that a normal 100W bulb would increase it. GQP A Cavitron
This complex and delicate device can be used to create 'knot singularities' a form of black hole that is made by knotting super-strings, rather than by matter implosion. A knot singularity has all of the gravitational characteristics of a normal black hole (including apparent mass), but it takes far less energy to form, and evaporates non-explosively VHD The Heart of Gold
A gleaming golden spaceship containing an Infinite Improbability Drive. TBC The Tree of Life
This is a number of twisted roots resembling sweet potatoes. They are sealed in an airtight chamber, and there are warning labels on the box that breaking the seals is extremely dangerous. Any human over 30 [[ I think that was the age... ]] who smells the roots will be overcome by a hunger for them that is impossible to resist. If he manages to eat the roots, and is not too old, [[whats the cutoff age?]] he will start a transformation into one of the Pak. (See any one of several stories by Larry Niven, including the book "Protector").

Uncataloged Items

Part of a Soviet Sub recovered by Howard Hughes' Glomar Explorer back in 1971. one more Mohican ! ET's home phone number Gizmo, the gremlin Uncle Martin's Spaceship Some of the Silver Marbles from "Starman" Some kryptonite Any of the fun gadgets from "Wild, Wild West" The Nautilus from "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" Anything from Yoyodyne The real Shroud of Turin The main CPU and core of Colosus The perfect solar cell The hand set from Quantum Leap that got left in 1945 (last episode) A Typhoon-class submarine with Caterpillar Drive A searchlight with the sillouette of a bat on it A book entitled "To Serve Man" A three-eyed fish named Blinky A map to the lost Dutchman mine The Marylin Monroe Diaries The "sets and costumes" that were used to film the Apollo Moon Landing The FBI and CIA files detailing the Career of "Special Agent Elvis" The real contents of Al Capone's Vault. A bottle of the "andromedia strain" Virus. A crate of seed pods from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" Things left behind by the Enterprise crew from ST IV All the AV recordings made of the Mothership from Close Encounters The Flying Dutchman. The missing pages from the logbook of the Marie Celeste. Gary Seven's voice-operated typewriter. Spock's vacuum tube computer made in the 1930's (?), found in flophouse. All the books which were checked out when the Library at Alexandria burned. A map showing where the Time Tunnel desert base's drive-in door is located. Miniturization machine from Fantastic Voyage Copy of hostage-withholding agreement between Bush and the Ayatollah. Hollow krypton meteorite, found in Smallville, USA. Cradle inside. Three "telepods", non-working, along with a grotesque fly/human/metal body. The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs (from an Asimov story, "Pate de Foi Gras") A Gamma Bomb A working orgone energy machine (see theories of Nicoli Tesla for more details) A real, live unicorn A working anti-gravity device a sample of Cavorite? (anti-gravitic material) Records detailing what REALLY happened on the Hindenberg Two strange electronic devices, found with a set of identifcation for "Commander Pavel Chekov, Starfleet." A set of photographs of a tall (6'3"), muscular man wearing sunglasses. Some appear to have been taken at a police station, the rest at a mall. Pieces excavated from a stone building of Greek or early Roman design. Found in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Many crates of bizarre super-tech weapons, all marked with swastikas. A crate full of papers, computer disks, and models of a modified DeLorean sports car. Among the papers is a photograph of two men standing by a clock, dating back to 1888. A green meteorite attatched to a chain, found in a sewer by the Metropolis department of Public Works. Plans and a prototype of a reactionless engine. The notes say it puts out no exhaust mass, only heat and light. A circular shield, about 3' in diameter, with concentric red and white rings and a star in the center on a blue field. A black sword, with red runes on it, unearthed in western Canada with a petrified human skeleton. The sword is dated as being older than the earth where it was found. Researchers tested the sword to find out what it was made of, but it defied their efforts. Everyone who touched the sword died. A gold medallion with raised markings on each side, and an off-center hole holding a red crystal. [[Ark of covenent key]] A glowing green crystal, about 10 inches long and 2.5 inches wide with angled ends, discovered near the North Pole. A listing of pi which gets to a long stretch of ones and then ends The failed prototype from the Aurora project (yet another "stealth" plane) ICE-NINE (from Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut) The Golden Fleece A hen's tooth A calendar containing a month made up entirely of Sundays A pillar of salt in the shape of a woman (Mrs. Lot) Universal Solvent (we think) (bring your own container) (hurry) (never mind...) The Ruby Slippers H.G. Wells' working time machine from "Time After Time" The hover-skateboard from BTTF2 Three numbers which satisfy the equation x^3 + y^3 = z^3 A forty-two-line computer program in Ada for factorising the products of two large primes in a short time. Flubber! Information on contacting the Wandering Jew A detailed map of Eden (located in Russia, natch) A new Shakespearean Play The true history of Ozymandias A CD containing the binary image of the Artifical Personality "Max Headroom" Pages torn out of a diary beloning to one "Laura Palmer" Nazi flying saucers Chips of some unknown alloy collected during Apollo missions A big black monolith collected by the Leakeys in Olduvai Gorge A report on the Roanoke colony, in Virginia, which disappeared overnight without a trace many centuries ago. (Or, perhaps, a meaning for the word CROATAN which was carved into a tree there...) The Sea Statue from "World of Ptavvs" by Niven SHADO security badges Victor Frankenstein's lab equipment Bacon's diary where he mentions his new project of ghostwriting plays. A prototype (or working model!) of Alpha Complex's Computer... Robbie the robot from forbidden planet A map of atlantis A cyclone in a bottle Dry water A cylon robot A treaty giving American indians the possession of all the petrol fields A portable hole An autograph from Pope PI XIII A stun gun A light saber A french guy named Serge Gilette, frozen. He knocked on the wrong door to ask to use the phone... A preserved specimen of a closet-monster. Directions to *BLOOM* county Film footage of the Tac-Nuke used in Desert Storm a 17-foot long scarf an Occillation Overthruster Complete contact info for the Banzai Institute for Strategic Thought A full set of equipment for an Imperial Stormtrooper A biological organism that disrupts computers (A real live computer bug). Seven league boots. Unexpurgated tapes of US space missions (including encounters with UFOs, drilling into the Moon and finding metal, etc.) The last remaining sample of live smallpox. A three-foot tall egg, with a cruciform opening in the top. Empty. 90% of the works of Nikola Tesla A Mac SE hard disk containing plans for "Transparent Aluminum" A Slaver Stasis box (and/or a GP #4 Hull). A short mathematical proof that the travelling salesman problem can be solved in polynomial time. An Elder God, (apparently) dead. A Kirlean photograph of Stonehenge -- showing auras on all the stones, including the missing ones. Various and sundry archaeological relics from Mu, Lemuria, Atlantis, Shangri-La, and Xanadu. Or the blueprints for a device that creates a space warp that opens on Yuggoth, Thats Pluto, for you non-Lovecraftians. This idea is taken from an adventure in the magazine _The Unspeakable Oath_. [[ Could someone describe this device?? ]] A quick, fool-proof algorithm for de-encrypting the DES. Piltdown Man, the REAL skull. The bones of the Ancient Astronauts Digital watch around the wrist of a dinosaur Calico kit bash from "I Come in Peace". The "calico kit bash" is a Hollywood SFX man modifying a calico machine pistol. The calico is a machine pistol with an M-16 barrel, cut down, and a handgrip from the same gun. It holds some 60 rounds of .22 ammo in a helix clip along the top of the pistol. In all, it does look kinda spacey. In I Come in Peace, the gun has five settings, each with an exponentially higher damage. At five, it could probably take out a couple of semis, or maybe a large house. Definitely something the government wouldn't want to give up. The speck of dust that The Incredible Shrinking Man lives in. The two lost Silmarils Nazi Nukes An enlargement of the picture of the map from Time Bandits. Large stack of "Final Notice" bills from the French gov't regarding some large statue. QUESTOR (from Gene Roddenberry's made for TV movie/pilot). Several Heechee artifacts found in a moonbase NASA won't tell us about... The source code for H.A.R.L.I.E. Source code for P1 Source code for ME Various Mecha A large number of Swords [[ Maybe all 12? ]] An F-15's gun-camera recording of a Dragon in flight The coordinates of a rain-swept planet far out in the galaxy, inhabited by a little old man who likes cats (even though he doesn't belive in them). The Color from Space, assuming somebody recovered it. (from a story by Lovecraft) Fully detailed photographs of "the face on Mars", showing laser burns and such The notes of the doctors who examined ET The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator A bubble-gum machine full of dehydrated Martians (just add water). Edison's final invention: The Necrophone, a device enabling one to speak with the dead. A text about flouridation and its true effects on the mind. An engine that runs on the passage of _time_ (a Soviet physicist, whose name escapes me, has crunched the numbers on this one!) A dummy terminal connecting to nothing in particular, with a prompt. When any name is typed in, the COMPLETE history of the subject is displayed, including what he is doing at this moment, with constant updating. The CIA's report on Psychotronic Weaponry, with the Soviet's explaination to what happened to Nixon and Carter, as well athe death of Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, and the meteoric rise to power of one Mikhail Gorbachev, who happened to be head of the KGB when the research was being done. One human skeleton, found in casket, with a wooden stake inserted into the ribcage. The bodies of the victims of Crest test #57. Definitive proof of the Carter thesis that states that petroleum, rather than being a diminishing resource, is constantly replenished naturally by the earth. Cryptic Suggestions ------------------- Many of the suggestions I received were for people or objects that I know little or nothing of. Can anyone fill me in on what the following objects are supposed to be, and/or what source material they are from? Judge Crater A box full of scrolls- written in Aramaic. Box says "Gnostic II." [[ What was Gnostic I? Whos toes would I be stepping on by including this? ]] The Great Virus of '29 The seed to the Tree of Knowledge [[ Is this supposed to be a seed to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? If so, we could just make it look like an apple seed, but I can't see what good it would do. Or is this supposed to be something else? ]] The Rhinegold Snake Plisken's death certificate Saucer pieces, mostly melted from magnesium flares, found in (Ant)artic. The stiff little finger from the hand of an Invader. NASA office note about refusing collect call from a Will Robinson. The Cotapoxic (sp?) ("Close Encounters") A pair of yellow shoes with thick hollow glass soles. One sole is intact and contains three goldfish skeletons. The corpse of a grotesque, bipedal, fish-like being. Roughly 7' tall, the creature wears chitinous armor. In the crate with it are a strange looking spear, net, gun on its shoulder, blade on one wrist, and an electronic thingy on its other wrist. A female android, dressed in a pink gown, with her left arm torn out of place. She looks remarkably like Olivia d'Abo. Two CDs, one marked "Elvis" and the other marked "Bruce." These are kept with two identically-marked reels of tape and a strange machine. Hundreds of boxes of very very old, crumbling books found in Egypt. Inside the front cover of each one is a pocket containing a little card with heiroglyphs on it. All but the last set on each card are crossed out. [[ Is this one just silly, or am I missing the point? ]] An illuminated manuscript much like a Bible, along with a rabbit's corpse and many pieces of shrapnel. A large emerald in the shape of a heart, confiscated from a fence in new York City. the carbon copies of "Deadmeat"'s notes formula 7x GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE 137-7-B [[ This intrigues me. If someone has a designation for the warehouse that makes sense, I'll use it. ]] A broadsword from roughly 1000 AD with a woman's hand still gripping the handle Is it the wrong side of the Atlantic for there to be any chance that Lord Lucan is there, happily riding Shergar about the place? Talking of the missing sanity clause, how about a copy of 'Catch 22'? (The legistlation, not the book of course) The Nuclear Reactor from the the _Thresher_ The Claw of Elkhund The duplicate Stonehenge from Niven The directions on how to call Fa and Be (Day of the Dolphin) The Dracula Tapes The notes from Umberto Eco's meeting with Col. Ardenti Spare parts for SeaView a man's suit, made of a white cloth that doesn't seem to hold dust Two gold watches, one the stops time and one that transports people in time A `nevermore late' clock Directions to Yauknapataupha county Bones possibly from the remains of a roasted dodo, c.1950. [[ If it wasn't for the date, I'ld think this refered to an episode of The Goodies...]] Plans for the "Wildfire" research station George Washington's membership card for the Masons ... along with several letters signed "George Washington" and "Adam Weisshaupt", and a memo signed by a grafologist claiming that both sets were written by the same person. Schubert's last symphony (complete). [[ Is this the same as the Unfinished Symphony which is already in the list? ]] A pouch of sand, a red ruby on a chain, and a strange insect-like mask. Several Caroline clones (they work there). A silver albatross. An old-fashioned green railroad-man's lantern, and a collection of green rings of various shapes and sizes. 5 Avenger Torpedo-Bomber aircraft (minus crew) A lifeboat and other lifesaving gear, much of it stencilled with the name "USS Cyclops" Mission log of Apollo 17 [[ I assume there simply wasn't an Apollo 17. If there is space here for a bigger secret, let me know. ]] A wall with a tennis ball partially embedded in it. A working Antithykera computer recovered from a wreck found near the Thresher - made of titanium. The *real* set of rules to the game "Mornington Cresent." A vial containing the 'flu' from _The Stand_ _The Rigors_, by Meridian Fragments of Comet Hamner-Brown A skeletal (or frozen or living) Fithp Two 16-inch Battleship Cannon shells (you know - like the ones on the New Jersey) Filled with Quick-Death organism bomblets. The British copy of the North American Treaty Several kilograms of Byzanium, along with a 1889 Colorado newspaper and the body of a Red Army corporal. A wooden staff, with a claw holding a crystal on the end. The Starship DEFIANT A large number pf Swiss Army knives and rolls of Duct Tape. The Knives all have the letter M engraved on them. The financial records of Stemple's Mill, Seattle, Washington - signed "Ishmael Marx" A number of semi-transparent, amoeboid creatures, accompanied by semi-neanderthalic humanoids. The leg-bones of Miles Vorkosigan One Dozen Red Roses Maps to caves in Ireland, where several spaceships (with markings in Gaelic) are kept. Two thousand bottles of NyQuil The home address of Dr. Robert(?) McAran A near-complete copy of "the Red Book of Westmarch" Remains of a sophisticated WWII Japanese fighter, codenamed Kamikaze, with humanoid figures crushed in the machinery, that must have disabled it. A strange machine, incorporating a glass cylinder with a weird gel flowing within it, and sealed with a lock that can only be opened from within. Found in the basement of a church in Detroit. Directions to Midian.